Visitors to this blog may recall that I like to scam scammers. You know, the ones who steal a Facebook friend’s identity and use FB messaging to try to get you to send them some of your hard-earned money.
I like to fight back in my own little way by writing back. Wasting as much of their time as possible.
I suspect Mrs. Anderson, who taught me the basics back at Hillsboro High School, wouldn’t approve of the way I’m using my writing skills. But, I can’t help myself. Back-scamming is like crack cocaine to me. I find it oddly rewarding.
So, here we go again. Remember, the conversation below is real.
Scammer: Hello Terry, How are you doing ?
Me: Great! You?
Scammer: I’m doing good. I often think of you and always uplifting you in prayer dont know if you have heard about the good news yet ?
Scammer: Have you heard about Covenant Services Group winning program assisting retired, workers, youth and disable with the support of Department of Health
Me: No. Where is Mary right now?
Scammer: I’m so happy i received $350,000, from their benefit they are helping Disabled, Employed and Unemployed Workers, Retiree, veteran, I also found out you are also entitled to this benefit also
Me: That’s nice. Is Mary there now?
Scammer: Yes do you want to chat with her ?
Me: Yes, please. Put her on.
Scammer: Okay and You will need to get in contact with the online director in charge so he can direct you through the processing. do you know Muriel Gragg on Facebook ?
Me: No. But I bet she’s very nice.
Scammer: You have to add him as friend and also message him that you wish to request about your prize.
Me: OK, OK. Put Mary on.
Me: Wait! Muriel is a girl’s name!
Scammer: Nope thats the claim agent name on Facebook
Me: Huh! It’s a funny world sometimes, isn’t it? OK. Put Mary on already!
Scammer: Hi Terry
Me: Hi, Mary! Is that you?
Scammer: Yes, how are you doing ! Happy weekends
Me: Happy weekends to you! Mary, I’m a little worried about Wayne. He thinks he won $350,000 in the lottery. Or something.
Scammer: Yes he did i was so worried too before he receive the check
Me: Really! Say, Mary, do you think President Trump is going to build that wall he’s always talking about? 25 billion dollars is a lot of money.
Scammer: I,m so happy the program is real
Me: What program? The wall isn’t real yet.
Scammer: The Covenant Services Group winning program
Me: Oh that.
Me: Getting back to the wall, it sure seems like a lot of work.
Scammer: Yes but the government know how to handle that thats alot of money
Me: I suppose. Say, put Wayne back on, will you? I’d like to know what he thinks of the wall.
Scammer: Wayne said you won too
Me: I don’t know. I never win anything.
Me: Put him back on. I bet that wall will be something to see when it’s done. Don’t you think?
Me: But, Mary, I think Wayne should have a check-up. He thinks he won the lottery. That’s not right.
Scammer: i got my check already and it has been cleared in my bank you need not to be nervous about this, I told you about this because I was trying to help you I saw your name on the winners list when the delivery team got my winnings to me that was why i had to contact you on facebook to tell you about it, this is real and legitimate I promise you that you will never regret doing this.
Me: Is that you again, Wayne? I’m getting a little confused as to you (whom?) I’m talking with.
Me: Wayne, what do you think about President Trump’s wall? Somebody told me that when it’s finished we’ll be able to see through it. That doesn’t sound much like a wall to me.
Scammer: what will happen after trump make the wall ?
Me: You tell me, Wayne! I voted for the other one. The girl.
Scammer: Oh sorry
Me: I shouldn’t call her a girl. She’s 40 if she’s a day!
Me: Well, this has been fun, Wayne. But I have to go. We eat dinner at 4. Seems early but that’s the way they do it here at Happy Dale.
Scammer: That’s nice.
Me: Yeah, it’s nice. But I don’t like the way they do peas. They’re always so mushy. I hope we’re having something else tonight.
Me: Wayne, you still there?
Chat Conversation End