My Colonoscopy Diary (Times and actions approximate):
Monday, 5:30 AM:Â Up early.Â Don’t want to miss a thing.
6:00Â AM:Â Cat still giving me the evil eye over the food thing.
6:10 AM:Â First of several more bathroom “trips/stays.”
7:45 AM:Â Leave for Altru clinic.
7:52 AM:Â Arrive at Altru clinic.
8:09 AM:Â Meet admitting nurse Marie (who seems nice).Â She reminds me we’ll be looking at the first “five feet” of my colon today.
8:12 AM:Â Take off clothes.
8:13 AM:Â Put on attractive hospital gown.
8:14 AM:Â Sign consent form which says essentially that if anything happens to me, nothing happens to them.
8:30 AM:Â Blood pressure taken.Â Said to be “too high.”
8:35 AM:Â Blood pressure taken again.Â Higher than at 8:30 AM.
8:40 AM:Â Blood pressure taken again.Â Higher than at 8:35 AM.
8:45 AM:Â Waiting in bed.Â Given warm blanket.
9:00 AM:Â Still waiting.Â Request another warm blanket.
9:30 AM:Â Still waiting.Â Request another warm blanket.
10:00Â AM:Â Still waiting.Â Request another warm blanket.
10:04 AM:Â Meet procedure room nurse Cheryl.Â (She seems nice.)
10:06 AM:Â Nurse Cheryl pushes me (and the bed) into procedure room.Â Try not to look at scary, medical equipment all around me.
10:09 AM:Â Dr. Tony Chu arrives.Â Short conversation about how to access Dullum File blog and “My Colonoscopy and Me (Parts One, Deux and Three) posts.
10:10 AM:Â Dr. Chu instructs Nurse Cheryl to administers 150 cc of something to me.
10:11 AM (Seemingly):Â Magically transformed back to recovery area and given breakfast of whole wheat toast, pineapple juice, peanut butter and coffee.Â Tastes like breakfast at the Ritz in London.
10:20 AM:Â Short conversation with Dr. Xenophon Papadapolous, my urologist, who happens to be on the floor.Â He says “I’m watching you,” or words to that affect.
10:24:Â Short conversation with Dr. Chu about my colon which he proclaims healthy and free of polyps, growths and other nastiness.
10:41 AM:Â Home and dreaming of the margaritaÂ I’ve promised myself this evening as aÂ reward finally–after far, far too long–for getting around to having this painless,Â but life-saving procedure done.